If you have browsed some of our client stories, you probably expect a photo of the client or family at left.  So what is that little doll doing there?  Read on and you'll find out!

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Many Anacortes Family Center clients have faced similar challenges in their lives--we all know what they are.  But it's always interesting to find out about the last little nudge that pushed them to change their lives--perhaps an unexpected pregnancy, or the loss of child custody, or hospitalization due to substance use--these key pieces of the journey can vary quite a bit.

 

For Shari, this little doll, not much bigger than your thumb, did the trick. Shari found it on a staircase at her apartment building one day and knew she needed to take action.

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An issue of safety

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Shari was living in Anacortes working in home healthcare when she met Joe at a BBQ on Whidbey Island.  When they married, Shari brought a son and daughter to the family, then the couple had a little girl of their own, Gracie.  The family moved to California where Joe continued his military service.  For a time all was well, then a party conversation triggered a violent outburst from Joe. From that episode on Shari no longer felt safe with him.  It escalated to the point where Joe held a gun to Shari's head because another guy showed interest in her.

 

Shari took the three kids to Idaho where her sister and her mom lived. The four were safe, but the stress of her experiences and the challenge of starting over led Shari to begin drinking.  Then, disaster struck.  When Shari traveled to California to pick Gracie up after a summer visit with her dad, Joe refused to let Shari take the youngster.  He had begun telling lies about her--the worst one was that she had allowed her son to abuse Gracie.  Shari returned to Idaho alone, feeling completely defeated.  To cope with being, as she put it, "wrapped up in my own hurt," she began drinking more heavily.

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The a-ha moment

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One day, on the stairs outside her apartment Shari spied a little doll that belonged to her daughter.  "She hadn't lived with me for nearly two years," remembers Shari, and she had no idea how the doll ended up on the stairs.  She took it as a sign.  "Gracie needs me," she decided, and in that moment she resolved to get her back.

 

Her older daughter and son had not reached adulthood at that point, so Shari made the decision to sign over parental rights to her mother so the siblings could stay in Idaho.  Shari traveled to California, and with help from the local sheriff, military officials, and an attorney, she got Gracie back again.  Mother and daughter returned to Skagit County, bringing a $30,000 attorney bill and poor credit record with them.

 

asking aFC for help

 

Shari took a hotel room in Anacortes, then called AFC.  Hard as it was to ask for help, Shari recognizes that this decision started her on the road to "regaining purpose and peace" in her life.  All told, Shari and Gracie spent a few weeks at the Emergency Shelter, then about a year in the Transitional Building before landing permanent housing.  Shari appreciates the time the organization gave her to get on her feet.  "They don't let you go until they know you're ready to spread your wings."

 

Weekly Life Skills sessions helped Shari gain experience in areas like financial management, handling stress, and cooking, among others.  She also got her high school diploma.  With the relief that comes with stability and support, Shari came to an important understanding.  She could finally acknowledge how broken she had been, and that fear and anxiety had been ruling her life.  Going to counseling at Case Manager Bea's suggestion was another key step for Shari. "When I stopped drinking I thought I was healed," Shari says.  "But wow."  Now she says, "I have healed in so many ways I didn't even know I needed.  I've overcome more in the last year than in 10 years before."

 

Today Gracie is doing well in school in Anacortes and Shari has nearly paid off her debts. She recently took a placement test at Skagit Valley College and applied for financial aid.  She wants to attend classes in the fall, and guess what she's interested in--social work.  With a new sense of strength and confidence, Shari says, "I want to give back."

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