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I’m better than the lifestyle I was living: Sheila's Story
A few tears escaped, followed by a smile and a look of determination as Sheila described her move into permanent housing. The stability and the life skills programs at Anacortes Family Center had given her the respite she needed to gather herself for a fresh start, a new life.
Sheila grew up on farms and ranches with animals ranging from dogs and chickens to horses and pheasants. She was the middle child of five kids, homeschooled by her mother, a former teacher. But things were not as steady inside the family as they might have looked from the outside, and her life took a breathtaking turn with a young marriage that included such devastating abuse that Sheila’s husband, she says, “beat me and left me for dead.”
Life spiraled from there, with trauma, drug use, more physical abuse from other partners, and dangerous living conditions alternating with homelessness for decades.
I was ready for whatever it took
A few months ago, while staying in a house where drugs were used and sold, where fights and thefts occurred, she found herself truly wanting to escape the chaos. She could feel her strength building. But she saw few prospects for changing her life while living in such debilitating conditions. As the mother of five (four boys, one girl), and grandmother to eight, Sheila was ready for whatever it took.
As she worked to get clean and sober, her kids noticed a new sparkle in her eyes, she says. One observed, “Our mom is back.” Just last year, as Sheila described, her children expressed a promise to be there for her as she steadied her life and looked to the future. “I didn’t want to die a drug addict,” and didn’t want to continue a life that had been "very brutal, gory, very real.” Healing required Sheila to “learn to love herself through flaws and errors, scars and insecurities.” AFC was the “stable place” she needed to put the pieces together, recover her possessions, and move into a new apartment.
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This will be the first time I’ve had my own place to live in thirty years
Sheila is extremely thankful to all who have helped her especially in the most recent months, but it is clear to anyone who meets her that her lively mind and inner fortitude played a crucial role as well. Her goal now is to work with other women struggling to escape abuse and to help them reclaim control of their futures. “I’m not better than anyone else,” she says, “but I am better than the lifestyle I was living,” And she wants to pay it forward. She smiles, having perfectly captured the wild spirit of a fresh start, a new life.
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